In last week’s work related post we looked at the success of failure and how we should approach and manage the failure so we could look at gaining positive longer term results which could be traced back to the failure. I’m sure you’ll agree with me, it’s not easy to overcome the effects of failure and at the point of the event to think clearly enough to begin the process of hunting the success.
Are we hard-wired for success? Is it the only reason why we work? Do we chase the elusive perfect job simply because we believe that when we reach the top in our chosen field that we’ve reached the pinnacle of success? Is it the job or the success that drives us? How often have we paused a second or two when asked about attending a function or event because we’ve had to quickly consult our mental diary to see if accepting would clash with work?
Maintaining a work/ life balance, or the myth that it is, can be a rather tenuous endeavour. I’m thinking the concept was created by big business to suck us into believing they really care about our well-being. If they did it would have been life/ work balance. The pursuit of success means we have to place the work part first. After all, if we say “no” too often at work we won’t reach that pinnacle we’re always striving to reach.
The Failure of Success.
You may say there can be no failure in success. You may say I’ve lost the plot by suggesting success brings failure. Have I? Like last week I ask you to sit back and reflect for a few minutes before you write-off my statement. Think for yourself how many folk you have met who have chased success so hard that it’s changed their characters along the way.
How many times have people used your back as a wrung on the ladder to said success without as much as a mere thought about the pain they may be inflicting while treading on your frail shoulders? How many times have you been back-stabbed by a peer who is so intent on getting to the winning line ahead of everyone else that it matters not when they smear your reputation with excitement?
There is a fine line between obligation to duty and the unholy pursuit of success just for the sake of the rewards of that success. I’ve been know to use the phrase..
I’m not a rat racer!
I have long ago learned that ethics and honesty are more valuable in my life that the rewards of ill-gotten success. By ill-gotten I don’t mean criminal. Feel free to judge for yourself, if the company places demands on you which in the long run result in you missing out on family milestone events then is the reward of the work success not at the cost of human relationship failure?
That sums it up for me. If there is in any way hurt or pain to be caused in the pursuit of success then it has turned to failure. Yes, I do accept that at times one has to make difficult choices which may not always be to the liking of all. Yes, I have at times in my life had to earn that extra buck and in so doing I had to sacrifice time with family but one thing sitting on the dole for a period of time has taught me is that all things are relative.
I was a failure in my own eyes for not having a paying job to provide for my family. Most likely I was deemed a failure by others yet I learned much about myself. One of the important things that became apparent is that time with family builds stronger relationships, even during time of adversity.
Success in itself is not bad but it is the relentless pursuit of that success which could be harmful, not only to the pursuer but to others in the organisation and at home. Don’t let the gloss of success smear the smelly tarnish of failure all over your relationships, no matter how casual or infrequent they may be.
Make sure when you sup from the cup of success it’s not laced with the pain of others!